Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is coming to pay me a visit on Thursday. Well, not actually me, in particular. Her Royal Highness is coming to Virginia to visit her former subjects. Well, not her former subjects exactly. The Queen is coming to visit the great-great-great, etc. grandchildren of the former subjects of King George III. George was not very nice man, but he did leave his country's Common Law for us to follow. And here in Virginia, we still do.
Anyway, Q.E. II is coming to the Capital of the Commonwealth to help us celebrate the 400th aniversary of the founding of Jamestown, a wretched little settlement down the James River aways. I suppose that I should be pleased that the Queen has decided to peek in and see how we're doing after a couple of hundred years on our own. She seems like a nice enough old gal. She's always been a good friend to America, and she keeps those wily Canadians in line. So, sure, we are delighted to have her stop by for tea.
Unfortunately, the world's biggest zoo is coming to town along with her.
I just got the list of streets and buildings in the vicinity that will be closed for her visit. Twenty of the buildings are within a block or two of my office. The streets that are closed surround me. If I get in at all, I won't leaving and time soon. They are expecting 18,000 people to congregate on the Capitol grounds. This means that the other 50,000 or so folks who have nothing better to do but gape at an elderly woman in a bad hat are going to be standing between me and my sandwich shop. Look, I know that she's the Queen of England and all, but sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph, it ain't like she's the Pope or anything. People need to get a life, and I need to be able to get a sandwich.
I suppose that I'll just have to muddle through it all somehow. Especially considering that I lost my chance to gawk at her myself.
By the way, that's Andy Warhol's portrait of the Queen. I've always liked it. But now it's also a cool refrigerator magnet!
I wonder if she's got one at home?