Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Smack Down

I can't begin to do justice to Keith Olbermann's stunning rebuke to Rumsfeld's speech yesterday so I'll let his eloquent words speak for themselves...and for me.

The man who sees absolutes, where all other men see nuances and shades of meaning, is either a prophet, or a quack.

Donald H. Rumsfeld is not a prophet.

Mr. Rumsfeld’s remarkable speech to the American Legion yesterday demands the deep analysis—and the sober contemplation—of every American.

For it did not merely serve to impugn the morality or intelligence -- indeed, the loyalty -- of the majority of Americans who oppose the transient occupants of the highest offices in the land. Worse, still, it credits those same transient occupants -- our employees -- with a total omniscience; a total omniscience which neither common sense, nor this administration’s track record at home or abroad, suggests they deserve.

Dissent and disagreement with government is the life’s blood of human freedom; and not merely because it is the first roadblock against the kind of tyranny the men Mr. Rumsfeld likes to think of as “his” troops still fight, this very evening, in Iraq.

It is also essential. Because just every once in awhile it is right and the power to which it speaks, is wrong.

In a small irony, however, Mr. Rumsfeld’s speechwriter was adroit in invoking the memory of the appeasement of the Nazis. For in their time, there was another government faced with true peril—with a growing evil—powerful and remorseless.

That government, like Mr. Rumsfeld’s, had a monopoly on all the facts. It, too, had the “secret information.” It alone had the true picture of the threat. It too dismissed and insulted its critics in terms like Mr. Rumsfeld’s -- questioning their intellect and their morality.

That government was England’s, in the 1930’s.

It "knew" Hitler posed no true threat to Europe, let alone England.
It "knew" Germany was not re-arming, in violation of all treaties and accords.
It "knew" that the hard evidence it received, which contradicted its own policies, its own conclusions — its own omniscience -- needed to be dismissed.

The English government of Neville Chamberlain already "knew" the truth.

Most relevant of all — it “knew” that its staunchest critics needed to be marginalized and isolated. In fact, it portrayed the foremost of them as a blood-thirsty war-monger who was, if not truly senile, at best morally or intellectually confused.

That critic’s name was Winston Churchill.

Sadly, we have no Winston Churchills evident among us this evening. We have only Donald Rumsfelds, demonizing disagreement, the way Neville Chamberlain demonized Winston Churchill.

* * * *
You can read the rest of it here.

Update: Here's the video of Olbermann's commentary. I promise to provide a clip of Rumsfeld's speech as soon as I locate it...and after I read it:)

(Posted by Portia)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Where there is honey, there are bees.

Okay, so here I am minding my own business (and yours) when up pops this little story from the New York Lawyer:

L.I. Attorney Censured Over High Fees
New York LawyerAugust 29, 2006

By Michael SchollNew York Law Journal

MINEOLA - Patent lawyer Michael I. Kroll of Syosset has been publicly censured for charging excessive fees to 75 clients.

The Appellate Division, Second Department, last week unanimously voted to confirm a special referee's report that had sustained two counts of professional misconduct against Mr. Kroll. The court found in Matter of Michael I. Knoll, 2005-00782, that Mr. Kroll violated the Code of Professional Responsibility by charging excessive fees for preparing patent applications.

A U.S. Patent and Trademark Office investigation into Mr. Kroll's fees was begun in 2000 after one of his clients, Lynn Svevad, complained to the office. Ms. Svevad had been seeking to patent a computer software program that allows users to have simulated conversations with deceased relatives.

The Appellate Division said the investigation found that the average fee charged in the New York City area for preparation of an application was $700. It also found that Mr. Kroll charged and collected $11,500 for the same service from Ms. Svevad.The investigation also identified 75 clients who were charged similar fees by Mr. Knoll for the same work.


Naturally, my short attention span distills this whole sorid affair into a
Daily News headline:


But what of the bait?

Seriously, this woman tries to patent a program that simulates you having an email conversation with long-dead Aunt Haddie, and then complains that her lawyer charged her too much to license such stupidity? Why couldn't she find a reputable attorney to prosecute a patent application that permits people to chat-room with dead folks?

(Um...nevermind. I figured it out by myself.)

The Court (wisely) held that the stupid lawyer in this case is liable for stupidly overcharging his stupid client amounts beyond the stupid level of their obvious stupidity. No verdict was returned as to whether Ms. Svevad (say that three times fast) was liable for luring the desperate into a place where her digital clouds obscured those last few lights remaining in the safe harbor of reason.

Ubi mel ibi apes . (Where there is honey, there are bees.) And where there are bees, there are bears. That's life as I know it. And that's ok.

But tomorrow is another day.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Surely You Can Come Up With A Couple More

And don't call me Shirley.

Today's Excuse Quote

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have time.
Tallulah Bankhead

(Posted by Portia)

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Coach

"The ball is round, a game lasts 90 minutes, everything else is pure theory. Off we go! "


Saturday, August 26, 2006

Army Immerses Soldiers in Weaponry

Calgon, take me away.
And drown me.

Thug Lite

Yet another sign that the Apocalypse is upon us:

"Elton John was talking to us about his upcoming album, The Captain and the Kid, due out next month, when he dropped a bomb about his plans for the project after that: he intends to record a hip-hop album with Dr. Dre."

Word to your mother.

Friday, August 25, 2006

It Ain't the Lips, Honey

Cassandra and the ladies are all in a tizzy/snit about something that somebody said about conservative women having skinny lips. I'm not kidding.

Seeing as today I have nothing to say on that particular matter (or any other particular matter), I thought that I might just stir up some trouble.

But there's not a whole lot of trouble out there waiting for me to get into, it seems.

I'm not kidding.

Maybe you folks could come up with some ideas?


Thursday, August 24, 2006

O Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

I thank you for your many kind comments in the post below about the passing of Big Jim C. I apologize for causing you to think that Jim was my father. He was not. My own Dad died some years ago. Jim was my best friend's father, a man I'd known for more than 40 years.

Even though we were not biologically linked, however, Jim was a father to me in many many ways. He was my Coach and teacher. He gave me my first job that required a tie. Jim was the Chairman of my personal Board of Directors, and he saw right through me.

Throughout my life,Jim never gave up on me, even when I had about given up on myself. And when I failed he'd never ask me why, but rather "What did you see there?" and then listen as I taught my self another lesson. And when at last I'd succeed his praise would be equally subdued. "Of course you did," he'd say.

Of course I did. Thanks to you.

St. Paul was right. There is no sting to death where the life is well lived. Jim approached every day with gusto and faith. Faith in himself. Faith in Christ. And faith in every human being.

I am a better man for having known him.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Big Jim

Did we ever touch?
Or just bully past each other?

Either way, sir,
You remain my lighthouse.
And for all the glare of your harsh stare,
I love you still.

Rest, now, friend and father
And know that you have lit a beacon.
Strong enough to guide this single life.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Double Header

What can I say?

The teams combined for 41 runs and 61 hits. Twenty pitchers -- that's counting Mike Myers and Scott Proctor twice -- threw 783 pitches. In all, the teams played 8:40 minutes of baseball, from Jason Johnson's first pitch at 1:10 p.m. until Mariano Rivera covered first to retire Wily Mo Pena at 12:52 a.m.

Dear Lord I do so hate the Yankees.

Friday, August 18, 2006

CSI: Rock Lyrics

We begin a new sub-chapter in intellectual futility tonight with lyrics from The Doors:

Yeah!, come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, babe
Can't you see that I am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won't you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?

What was that promise that she made?

Game Day!

Hey there, Mister Coffee. Are you ready for some baseball?

Chill out, Popsicle Head. The Sox are a game and a half back and looking tired.

Tired? Your boys dropped one to last the freakin' Orioles yesterday 12 -2, and you're calling us tired?

Yeah, well that sucked, but you know how it's going to go today.

Yeah, Joe.
I do.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

August 12

Hppy brthdy, spd

From your friends at Heigh Ho

May all your wishes come true!

Well, most of them anyway....

(posted by Portia)

Friday, August 11, 2006


It's all I ever wanted.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

One Man's Terrorist Is Another's Assh*le

If you haven't heard, "somebody" hacked into Joe Leiberman's homepage and knocked it out of commision with a "denial of service attack." Of course, Karl Rove denies any involvement, but then doesn't he always? I mean who else but Rove would replace Joe's homepage with a message like this:

''We ownz u site.''

Oh, yeah. That typifies the typical imperialistic neo-con jingo grabbism that typically this Administration is typically famous for so typically. And note the sly attempt by Rove and his gang of hackers to engage the black vote at the same time by layin' down some "jive." Shame on you, Karl. Have you at last no sense of decency?

There's little doubt that the Republicans are out to get Joe. After all, if Bush hadn't stolen the 2000 election, Joe might be president today - or still a heartbeat away. (Try harder Tipper!) Plus, he let the President kiss him! I'm no homophobic anti-semite, but according to Reverend Al Sharpton, this is probably the time that I should be laying in a stock of man-sized Holy Trojans for the coming of the End of the World.

Or something.

Seriously, folks. It has to be Rove, right? I mean, it couldn't be a Democratic operative or moonbat ticked off that Joe's going to run as an independent. Democrats don't stifle free speech, they bathe in it.

Like ducks in water.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Caption - If You Dare

I am completely bereft of any ideas, flavors or colors, having been beaten to a intellectual pulp.

Henceforth, I'm thing outside of the fridge.


Monday, August 07, 2006

Once More to the Lake

We went fishing the first morning. I felt the same damp moss covering the worms in the bait can, and saw the dragonfly alight on the tip of my rod as it hovered a few inches from the surface of the water. It was the arrival of this fly that convinced me beyond any doubt that everything was as it always had been, that the years were a mirage and there had been no years. The small waves were the same, chucking the rowboat under the chin as we fished at anchor, and the boat was the same boat, the same color green and the ribs broken in the same places, and under the floorboards the same fresh-water leavings and debris--the dead hellgrammite, the wisps of moss, the rusty discarded fishhook, the dried blood from yesterday's catch. We stared silently at the tips of our rods, at the dragonflies that came and wells. I lowered the tip of mine into the water, tentatively, pensively dislodging the fly, which darted two feet away, poised, darted two feet back, and came to rest again a little farther up the rod. There had been no years between the ducking of this dragonfly and the other one--the one that was part of memory. I looked at the boy, who was silently watching his fly, and it was my hands that held his rod, my eyes watching. I felt dizzy and didn't know which rod I was at the end of....

"Once More to the Lake," by E.B. White

(posted by Portia)

Saturday, August 05, 2006

New Survey Finds One In Three Americans Stark Raving Bonkers

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's official. According to a new Scripps Howeard/ Ohio University Poll, one third of the adult population in America believes that little green men are coming to eat their brains and drain their precious bodily fluids.

There's no other explanation.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Too Darn Hot

5:10 PM, the mercury is stuck at One Oh Three and it's
Too Darn Hot (Mel Torme does Cole Porter)

I'd like to sup with my baby tonight
fill the cup with my baby tonight
I'd like to sup with my baby tonight
fill the cup with my baby tonight
but I ain't up to my baby tonight
cause it's too darn hot
It's too darn hot
It's too darn hot

I'd like to coo with my baby tonight
and pitch the woo with my baby tonight
I'd like to coo with my baby tonight
and pitch the woo with my baby tonight
brother you fight my baby tonight
cause it's too darn hot
it's too darn hot

According to the Kinsey report
ev'ry average man you know
much prefers to play his favorite sport
when the temperature is low
but when the thermometer goes way up
and the weather is sizzling hot
Mister Pants, for romance, is not
cause it's too too
it's too darn hot, it's too darn hot
It's too too too too darn hot

Darn, it's hot.

(Posted by Portia)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Grounds For Annulment

Depending on what's between your legs, this may or may not be good news: There is no Emily, there is no Steven, there will be no divorce, New York style.

As several savvy HH readers surmised early on (save this author), the billboard, the blog--even the joint bank account--were all bogus. B-O-G-U-S. All part of a desparate clever viral marketing campaign for an upcoming Court TV show, Parco P.I. about some overweight, underloved Kojak look-alike gumshoe in New York City who tracks down spouses copulating with other people's spouses.

How totally unfun is that? Totally. On top of that, it sucks.

Folks, these days we're being duped big time--not by con men luring us into a game of three-card Monte or fast talking used car salesmen--by predatory viral marketing evangelists piggybacking on your my gullibility to do their low-budget word-of-mouth advertising, and the kicker is most times we I don't even know what they're selling or we're I'm promoting! What's wrong with this picture? What happened to wooing me? What happened to the good old days when smarmy advertisers did the talking? Two nasty words: Viral marketing.

Oh sure, the billboard/blog viral campaign was highly infectious effective in generating viral buzz (he told two friends, who told two friends, who told two friends, et. seq.) Within 24 hours, it was the talk of MSM, the blogworld and my "mailbox" while it tugged at the heartstrings (or something lower) of every Emily and Steven among us (or as a friend said after seeing the billboard "I think I've seen that episode.") It sucked us in with the possibility of someone else's "dirty laundry" being aired--in real time--right before our very eyes! Woo Hoo! The ultimate "get even" scenario touring right here in River City, and admission is free. Or so we thought...that is until we discovered that it wasn't Emily who was getting screwed it was us!

Well, I don't know about you but I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. I don't like being duped, and I certainly don't like playing host to someone else's viral virus. I got enough on my plate. I say it's high time for some backlash, my friends. This rant goes out to you Channel 23:

Dear Court TV:

Do I have your attention now? I know all about you, you dirty, sneaky, immoral, unfaithful, audience-deprived slimeball. Eveything's caught on tape. Eveything's going down on your permanent record. After your audacious billboard stunt, you can kiss goodbye any chance that I will ever watch, tape or TiVo any of your programs. You are officially banned in my household. Not even your commercials will grace my clicker.

And it's not only me who will be boycotting your low-budget low-life campaign. I have friends, lots of them. Some of them even have TVs. I am an honorary guest blogger on a blog that is read by people all over the world including Arizona, Georgia, Maryland, Ohio, Texas and Virginia. I will spread the sorry details of your stealth marketing tactics far and wide through my own low-budget campaign of viral buzz beginning right here and now.

Your forebears on Madison Avenue warned us years ago "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature." Well, here's an update bucko: It's not nice to con John Q. Public, either.

Have a nice day.

P.S. I hope Parco P.I. turns out to be just another washed-up "dick" with too much time on his hands, no headlights in his future, and the cancellation blues on his lips.

(Posted by Portia)