Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Who's On First? Well, What's His Sign?

Further proof (as if it was needed) that bouncing soccer balls off your head leads to mental illness:

FORT-DE-FRANCE, Martinique (AP) - France coach Raymond Domenech said astrological charts kept him from naming a No. 1 goalkeeper. Domenech was supposed to name his top choice Tuesday at a news conference, but he changed his mind.

"I consulted the stars: it was not the right day," Domenech said. "I had to admit we were too far away from the date (of the World Cup finals). There's no urgency."

It's not the first time the France coach has looked to the stars for help. Domenech has said he does not trust players born under the sign of Scorpio - such as Arsenal's Robert Pires - and that Leos do not make good defenders because they have a tendency to show off. [Bite me, Frenchy.]

Domenech could choose his top goalkeeper - either Fabien Barthez or Gregory Coupet - ahead of France's friendly with Slovakia in March. Barthez, the former No. 1 and a World Cup winner, recently served a lengthy ban for spitting on a referee. He has made several errors since his return to Marseille.

Coupet, meanwhile, has been in fine form with Lyon and was nominated as one of the 50 candidates for the prestigious Golden Ball award. [Fifty candidates???? Can't you people make up you minds about anything?]

On the other hand, perhaps Terrell Owens should have consulted his astrological charts before opening his pie hole and ending his career with the Philadelphia Eagles. T.O. is a Saggitarious born on December 7, 1974 ( Of course he'd be born on Pearl Harbor Day!). A quick review of his horoscopes the last few days would have save him a lot of grief. Witness:

Nov 6th:You're about to ask someone for a loan, and you know you deserve it; but don't march up to them with a cocky, 'I deserve this' kind of attitude. A little confidence, of course, is a different story.

Nov. 7th:Pushing the envelope now with a friend won't get you anywhere, and it could cause permanent problems. Try being cooperative instead, or (yes, really) maybe even apologizing if need be.

Nov: 8:You've been trying to watch your tongue for days -- maybe even weeks. But why bother? Refuse to accept this treatment any longer. One good conversation will clear the air, and you need to initiate it.

Today:The next couple of days will be exciting to say the least. You'll be amazed at what you say -- you're already a blunt person -- and at the amazing verbal stunts you'll pull off. [Oh, we'll be amazed all right.]

So there you go, folks. I for one am going to consult my horoscope before picking the winner of the upcoming Philly-Dallas game on Monday night, or even answering the phone. You should too.

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