Saturday, June 24, 2006

Mulligan Day

As places to go for work related duties, this one ain't the worst I've ever seen. Getting here, on the other hand, has turned out to be...problematic.

Alll was well until I left for the airport. I had to drop by the dry cleaners to pick up some clothes to wear, so I was packing my the airport parking garage. even though Richmond was overcast, 96 degrees and 3500% humidity, I was wearing my sun glasses as I stood in an intermittable line to receive my boarding pass and check my bag. Next, on to the security screening, where my Hart Schaffner Marx blue blazer and laptop must have set off alarm bells in Washington because I was quickly whisked to the side for the full monty.

Eventually I got onto the plane, stowed my carry on and settled into my seat. I pulled out my Wasll Street Journal Weekend Edition and opened ny brief case to retrieve my "regular" spectacles. Nowhere to be found. Checked the laptop case. No dice. The doors were closing as I whipped out my cell phone and called mrs. rdr. "Honey?" I asked pitifully, "I must have left my regular glasses in the car. Would you mind getting them and FED EX-ing them to me. I guess I'll be lind until Monday morning." "Where are your reading glasses," she asked. "In the car," I answered." "Good place for them" she said. "Uh huh" I answered. " After explaining to her where the car was and what places to look for the glasses, I rung off and began to peer darkly at the small print, cursing softly.

"This is your Captain speaking" the bodiless voice intoned. "We're ready for take off, so please turn off all portable electronic devices put your seat backs in the upright blah blah blah..." I reached down to my belt to retrieve my Blackberry and dutifully render the device unable to cause a major air disaster. No Blackberry, just and empty Blackberry holster. Where had it gone? I know I had it when I left the house. I know I had when I had to stopp off at the office to grab some papers I had forgotten last night. I know I had it...until sometime. Now it was G.O.N.E. gone. Uh oh.

Get to Atlanta, and try to find some one from tech Support...on a Saturday, natch. Finally catch some poor slob to whom I report the missing Blackberry and order him to turn the service off immediately. As in RIGHT EFFING NOW! JI'm just about to jump oto n my connecting flight when I get a call from mrs. rdr. "Honey?" shes asks? "Where are all the keys to the car?" That sinking feeling returns yet again. "Why, darling, they are in my brief case...all three sets." I had picked up my car from the shop last night and the guy had locked the car and tossed the house spare keys into the trunck for me. This morning while loading the car I picked them up and tossed them into the brief case. Who would have thought that the house might need a set today? After all all I'm doing is going on a little business trip...for five days.

So on Tuesday, I'll be giving a Power Point presentation to about 150 clients and potential clients wearing a nice blue suit... and sunglasses.

I want a do over.

And don't even think about me fixing my typos.


portia said...

Forgive me for LOL spd, but that was a hilarious story.

Are you sure you didn't spend the night in a bar with Astra? I swear the Leo sun sign we were born under must be retrograde in Uranus...or somebody's:)

Um, one more thing spd. Maybe it's better that you don't check the weather conditions for Amelia Island over the next few days. After a day like you had, do you really want to know that you'll be the only one wearing sunglasses when you're outside, too?

I suggest instead you kick back, enjoy your tony surroundings, and have yourself a long drink in a dark bar, a very dark bar:)

Your friend,

spd rdr said...

One day I'll tell you the story about the time I gave a presentation to a national business convention wearing one black shoe and one brown shoe.

When the screw-ups don't matter, all you can do is laugh at yourself, and invite the world to join in.

camojack said...

The last time I went to my favorite place (The Big Island, Hawaii) my cell phone was my fell fell out of it's holster in my friend Angelene's minivan on the way to the airport.
(I did without it...)

Anonymous said...

Ya know, the more I read this, the funnier it gets (or maybe I'm just slow, so I didn't get it the first few times.)
Spd, you're a card. :)

Ain't it funny how we're trapped, here in the beginning of the 21st century, with all these gizmos and artifacts that we desparately need; or do we? Where would we be without our wives to keep us organized!
Portia, you must be at least twice as smart as any of us men (even including that little air conditioner climbing escapade!)

See you on the beach!

-Don Brouhaha

portia said...

Why, thank you for noticing, Don:) It must come from all those years of living with my absent-mined significant other, and relishing hilarious laugh-out-loud moments from his antics like the time he left his briefcase at the airport check-in counter while he boarded the plane and the bomb squad was called, or the time he left his keys in the car...with the motor running or the time. Well, you get the picture.

I agree with you about all the gizmos. With all the electronics you have to travel with these days just to go to the office, I'm becoming just as forgetful. Of course, another pending birthday has nothing to do with it:)

Just remember "kids," Alzheimer's is not forgetting where your keys are but forgetting what keys are for.

Pooke said...

I don't feel sorry for you. I would have done all that on purpose. From exposing myself to overzealous security tards at the airport, to being rendered blind (sorry, Bob, you'll have to do the PowerPoint presentation... meet you at the hot-tub) to screwing with my significant other (remember when you... (fill in the blanks; I can't be specific but I'm sure it's someting that deserves revenge).

Sounds to me like you had a great trip!

Cassandra said...

I think that's what I mind most about getting older: needing glasses in order to read.

It really bites.

spd rdr said...

Who says I'm getting older? I'm just getting blinder!

Cassandra said...

By my reckoning, you've got about six weeks left...five...four...