Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Rita Who?


Tyra Banks proves breasts are real on TV

September 21, 2005, 2:07 PM EDT

NEW YORK -- Talk about keeping it real: Tyra Banks underwent a televised sonogram on her new talk show to prove that her breasts aren't fake.

"I'm tired of this rumor. It's something that's followed me forever," the supermodel said Tuesday on "The Tyra Banks Show."

After Banks asked the men in the audience to leave [Sexism!!!! -spd], Dr. Garth Fisher from ABC's "Extreme Makeover" performed a touch test and then the sonogram. He concluded: "Tyra Banks has natural breasts; there are no implants." [ Dr. Fisher then hurriedly excused himself mumbling something about having to "take a phone call."]

"By no means am I saying a breast implant is a bad thing, but it's not a choice that I made," the 31-year-old model said. "But it's something that a lot of the public ... think that I have, and that's so frustrating for me." [Me too. Let's commisserate over at my place.]

Banks, who models for Victoria's Secret [No! She sends my her pictures persoanlly every month! She doesn't getr paid for that! She does it for love!], also displayed how her push-up bra exaggerated her body. [Oxygen is on stand-by, Dr. rdr.] However, Banks said she's not totally real.

"I got fake hair, y'all. I got fake eyelashes." [Fake eyelashes! Oh, Tyra! How could you!]

The hour-long show was, as Banks declared, "all about breasts!" It also featured lessons on proper fitting and an appearance from a slimmed-down Anna Nicole Smith. [This part is a joke right? Right?]

6 comments:

KJ said...

Your reporting gets more in depth every day there spd.

What about Demi?

spd rdr said...

I am a professional, KJ. I go where the news is.

portia said...

well, spd I have to hand it to you. You and Tyra are two of a pair: Both milking her breasts to get traffic.

C'mon Tyra, was this necessary? A sonogram? You want to "deflate" the rumor they're fake? I say bring a couple guys from the audience up on stage, let them have a look-feel, and keep the cameras rolling. By the end of the show, America will have its answer, and you'll have a couple of lifelong fans. Short of that, stick with "They're real and they're spectacular," and stop your whining.

I trust inviting Anna Nicole Smith on the same show was no accident.

spd rdr said...

I certainly hope y'all figured this out as a joke about life-altering TV.
Otherwise, I'll just kill myself.

portia said...

hope y'all figured this out as a joke

Your post? Or the TV show?

The thing we figured out darlin' is that you and your many brethren have a penchant for all things mammary. Good news but not new news.

But now for the bad news: I heard last night that Tyra Banks no longer will be sending you personally her pictures every month. She's to be replaced at VS by Adriana Lima, the current Brazilian "it" girl of French, Portuguese, North American and Puerto Rican descent. (A little something for everyone.) She used to send her pictures to Lenny Kravitz but no longer. If I were you I'd check my mailbox.

No word yet if hers are real, but they look spectacu... um, they look healthy:)

portia said...

Is it me or is it Blogger? Don't answer. Try this....

Adriana Lima