Saturday, December 24, 2005

Another Christmas...


...and another bar of soap.

But then again...



It's Christmas!
And it's time to hand out the presents!





To KJ: A sweet, sweet, law suit (taken pro bono, of course) that slaps the ACLU silly and results in allowing one's faith in God to once again be expressed wherever, whenever and however one so chooses, in accordance with the designs of those who framed the Constitution. Plus attorney’s fees. And…as a kicker...a package of tax breaks.


To Pile On: One more year of Roger Clemons pitching for the Astros. And (in a few short years…trust me) to have Nolan Ryan’s grandson marry the fetching Ms. Onlette and produce the next Texan to win 30-games and the Cy Young.

To Cassandra: A phone that never rings. A clock that never ticks. A cup of fresh, fragrant coffee always within your reach. And the peace and quiet necessary for you to become the truly great writer that yet slumbers within you. And two reams of paper to get your a** started.

To a former european: French lessons.

To Cricket: Wood smoke and oranges. It is the perfume of contentment. Enjoy.

To Portia: A cab whenever you raise your hand. A walk across the Brooklyn Bridge in the spring sunshine. A view of the River. A view of the Park. Fresh bagels and shashimi. Lunch at the Carnegie Deli. And Johnny Damon.

To Masked Menace: A couple of more years on your mush. For crying out loud, you look like a freakin’ kid, MM. And lose the cat. We hate cats because we own four of the evil bastards.

Okay. So I'm jealous. Get over it.

To Pooke: EasyPass, baby. Your whole life on Easy Pass. Easy Pass and an open lane.

To Liberal Larry: Penis enhancement. It may help clear up a bunch of things, Lar.
Really.

And to my vastly under-appreciated readers from their plainly over-served host: Merry Christmas, peoples. I hope you get want you wanted. And if not, that you at least get some new underwear.


God bless us all, everyone.
Merry Christmas.

I love you guys.

8 comments:

Masked Menace© said...

Just keep in mind, that picture was near 10 years and 60 pounds ago. :-)

...And I'm fully aware of the evilness of kittens. I even have photgraphic proof that cat's are in fact the beasts of Satan.


Merry Christmas Spd and to the entire rdr family.

Pooke said...

Spd, I'm so touched. No, not in that way, I mean I'm touched.

Merry Christmas to you and yourz

portia said...

I love my presents! All of them. There are a few presents under the tree for you, too:

Someone to fill out your timesheets-- better yet, no timesheets-- a month at the beach, free spaying for your cats, a long drive in a fast car, "this is the year" redux, an evening with Hillary, and the oldest rdr at your side.

A very Merry Christmas to you and your many redheads.

Pile On® said...

Thank you spd, I don't know if the Ryan boy will be interested in the President of Stanford but you never know and at 38 I may not live long enough to see a grandson reach major league age, but you never know.

Merry Christmas all.

KJ said...

What a lovely present. And I didn't write you anything.

Thanks for the thought spd. Love Heigh Ho and the conversation.

Have a glass of Blantons on me.

Cricket said...

Merry Christmas to all of you...and thanks for the gift, spd. I will enjoy.

I love you all too.

a former european said...

Mercy boocups! Hope you had a great Christmas, and I appreciate the warm thoughts.

Cassandra said...

Why mr. rdr:

Everything you wished for me, I could have wished for you as well. Except I rather picture you on a beach somewhere with a sailboat on the dock and a sleek sportscar in the driveway waiting for you to finish the perfect sentence you're polishing... that is, if you can keep your mind from wandering as all those bikini-clad babes wander by outside your window.

Life on the beach is rough. It's a jungle out there. Someday...:)

Don't work too hard.