Monday, February 13, 2006

Come Back To Me, Darling

I was looking for something appropriate with which to trash Valentines Day... because I hate it. We'll not go into that here, because I found something fun instead.

(Click here for jumbo pic.)

Is this cool or what? "Cupid" is a richly deserved a name for a boomerang, isn't it?
My Spanish is awful, so I don't know what any of this has to do with " o bien a mode de sandwich" ("A good way to make a sandwich?" The Mind boggles at its own debasement.*) But what makes this especially cool, and thus deserving of a Heigh-ho Post, is that there's a whole collection of strange boomerangs at the site where I found Cupid. These are artworks, made with everything from glass and carbon fiber, to exotic woods and metals. Indeed, there is evidently a whole gaggle of boomerang aficionados spread across the globe.

Why make beautiful boomerangs? How the hell should I know? The only thing I know about boomerangs is that in the hands of an eleven-year old boy a boomerang can take out Mrs. Schenke's dining room window from about twenty yards away and never be seen of again.

Of course whenever I get intrigued by something stupid from my childhood, I immediately run over to the Bad Fads Museum to see if it's been registered yet. Sure enough, boomerangs are right there sandwiched between accupunture and Charles Atlas.**

But some folks take their boomeranging seriously. Over at "The Amazing World of Boomeranging" Mr. Fizzix (get it?) explains in depth how the things work - or in my case - not work. You should read it when you have trouble sleeping.

Getting back to the point of this point will be difficult, as it started out without one. But the word "boomerang" and "love" seem to have an affinity for each other. As a pairing this couplet can be used to generate wonderful imagery, all of which is, of course, sappy as hell, and deserving of nothing better than as a title to a Jimmy Buffet song.

To prove this theory, I checked out the lyrics to an old ABBA song entitled "Bang A Boomerang." Now, ABBA was a band from someplace where they don't speak English as a first language, so they can be forgiven for writing proto-Bjork type lyrics. But seriously, doesn't this just make you want to slit your wrists?

Like a bang, a boom-a-boomerang....Dum-be-dum-dum be-dum-be-dum-dum.......Oh bang, a boom-a-boomerang........Love is a tune you hum-de-hum-hum......So give it away, I think you'll learn.........You'll get love in return......So bang, a boom-a-boomerang is love......A boom-a-boomerang is love

With all the banging and booming going on, it's tough for a guy to get any sleep. So what to do about it? Write a book about it, of course! "Boomerang Love" is the title of a self-help book about, guess what, relationships. Ohhhh! My favorite target topic. Excerpt:

So back and forth we go in our grief. We're like a boomerang catapulting
ourselves out the door of our relationship and then turning around and going
back through that door again. "I'm leaving him today, but we have such a sweet
love relationship, how can I walk away from that?" Or,"Ive left and he'll
never rage at me again, but I still love him, what's wrong with me?"

Here's a clue, Doris: You're as dumb as a door mat!!!

Well, having once again done my part to make Valentines Day a special day of love for all, I'll leave you with this thought from Wikipedia:

The boomerang should flatten out on its own and arc around, sometimes coming to
rest a little in front of the thrower or behind the thrower, but ideally should
hover in gently allowing the thrower to catch it as a sort of "boomerang
" between the thrower's hands.

I kid you not.

*"Love Sandwich" is the title of a song by Nerf Herder, the lyrics of which have nothing to do with cold cuts.

**Extra blogger bonus points for using "sandwich" three four five times in the same post.


Cassandra said...

Oh for Pete's sake mr rdr. How you men toy with our poor affections.

Happy Valentine's Day. A day early.

spd rdr said...

That was ... um... special ..., Cass. Thank you.
Have a chocolate covered ant?

Cassandra said...


You see? Some people can never win.

I thought it was kind of fun to play with, actually.

spd rdr said...

So did I.