Friday, February 03, 2006

Things To Do With Your Computer When You Finally Quit Blogging For Good

My favorite Texan, and educator, Professsor Pile On, has decided that the longer he keeps blogging, the further away we are from a cure for hangovers. And so the good Professor will turn his full attention to the issue, and hopefully, publish his findings within my lifetime.

Faced with such a void in the advancement of public amusement, please allow me to suggest alternative uses for Prof. On's computer. First may I recommend the Apple G3 Beer Convertor Kit, pictured at left, and available for most Intel Powered processors running Windows XP. It's a great way to chill out while waiting for your next random thought to gel into something worth writing about, or wait for windows to reboot after a hard freeze.

And, of course, we don't want to forget our recovering friends, either.

(Hint: Always pick the one in the middle.)

Let's not forget that even though after blogging a computer is no longer a necessary implement in your life, its components still can provide a valuable everyday service.

You'll be slicing tomatoes and onions paper-thin in mere minutes!

But what about that monitor? It's now nothing more than a big hunk of junk squatting in the middle of your desk. And, hey, now that you're not blogging any more, you're going to need that desk space for scrapbooking! Well here's a handy use for that useless fat sucka!

Separation, however is key to prevent cross-channel interference.

Of course, never forget that all those software discs you've saved ofver the years make great surprise gifts to facially unimpaired.

(I like the brunette...a lot.)

There's a point to all this lurking somewhere, but its buried beneath the lame bullshit that is the whole point of Heigh-ho.

Let's just say that my bud Pile On will those of us that couldn't hit a broad barnside with a 105 MM snark cannon.

But let it also be said that he'd better damned well not go missing.

Later, Tex.
Happy trails.


Cassandra said...

...but its buried beneath the lame bullshit that is the whole point of Heigh-ho.

Not so lame :)

You guys are all amazing.

Pile On® said...

You find the best pics spd.

I may want to wait on the cat kennel, I still want to make snarky comments on ya'lls sites.

portia said...

I knew one of these days you'd find a place to stuff all those cats that roam your house. If only, huh?

Very funny, spd, and the perfect send off for a very funny guy. Good luck, Pile. Thanks for teaching me more about pudding than a girl would ever want to know:)

Pile On® said...

Well, then my work has not been in vain.

spd rdr said...

In vain?
It's all stuff thrown up against the big damned wall, P.O. Some sticks. Some falls off. Nut there is nothing, ever, ever, done in vain. Except regret.

Pile On® said...

I appreciate your point spd, but we are talking about one more woman in the world armed with the knowledge of pudding.

That gives me the satisfaction of a job well done.

portia said...

"In the long run, you only hit what you aim at [except when you're playing darts...]" Thoreau.

Excerpted from Portia's Pudding Proverbs, Vol. 1.

Ah yes, a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing:)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but where do we go now for a one-stop blogsite to see hot chicks drinking beer?

That's all I'm axin'.

A coincidence that the world is starting to come unraveled and Pile On stops blogging?
I think not.

-"Don Brouhaha"

spd rdr said...

Don, It's far more important that Dr. On finish his valuable work on the nature and meaning of hangovers. Once that scourge is forever eliminated from the face of the Earth the social rifts currently attending Her surface shall likewise be forgotten.