Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Snooze News

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!

Memo Suggests Annan Oil-For-Food Link

June 14, 2005, 12:11 PM EDTUNITED NATIONS -- Investigators of the U.N. oil-for-food program said Tuesday they are "urgently reviewing" new information that suggests U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan may have known more about a contract that was awarded to the company that employed his son.

"They're just coming after me because I'm a black man, just like Michael Jackson "said Secretary Annan at a lunchtime news conference. "Well..." he continued, "not just like Michael Jackson. I mean, I really am black...and, I'm really a man, too."

16 comments:

KJ said...

So Annan molested little boys?

Jehane said...

Whatever he's doing, it's got to be more fun than this interminable report I'm working on. Ye Gods I am so freaking bored. The latest estimates show I will be approximately 1.8 million years old when it is completed. All sentient life on earth will have come to a screeching halt.

Dust motes will now rule the planet, forming militant drifts and congregating snarkily under beds everywhere, shaking their tiny fists at the now-impotent vacuum cleaners that are powerless to stop their silty rampage (can you tell I didn't clean house this weekend???) as they hiss, "Take that, dirt-bag!"

spd rdr said...

I am juggling between briefs on substantive due process/commerece clause actions brought under 42 USC 1983 and the applicability of the Uniform Commercial Code to contracts regulated by state franchise acts.
Ya wanna swap?

portia said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. How did the Commerce Clause sneak in here? I thought you were serving up Shiny Things to your readers in lieu of things Commerce:)

Jehane said...

Well mr rdr, that depends on how titillating you find longitudinal studies of IT software productivity data from 1982 to the present. Is agile programming really a paradigm shift, or just a buzzword?

How much bang for the buck do firm get from offshoring? Hint: look for the true cost, not in effort dollars but in post-production defects...at least that's my working theory. Admit it... I know you all just had multiple orgasms just thinking about the implications, didn't you?

I know I'm feeling positively squishy.

Yee-ha.

portia said...

I love you, girlfriend: You finessed tonight's thread into talk of longtitudinal productivity, agile programming, multiple orgasms, and well...well, we all, um....um, next thing we know the Commmerce Clause/section 1983, is left in the dust, and we're ready to sign up for your job... squishy dust mites and all. Well done!

(BYAMATW: What means squishy?)

spd rdr said...

You girls stop that saucy talk, NOW!!!
I am trying to think here!
About what, I can't recall.

Jehane said...

Well, as I believe Charles Boyer once said in a far different context, 'Thank Heaven for little girls'...

I slunk back to Heigh Ho in the predawn hours with penitent and contrite heart planning to apologize and ask our noble proprietor to delete my last comment. I'm glad Portia was amused :)

Without going into that degree of detail which would draw the attention of the searing red pencil of editry from mein host, "squishy" most closely resembles that state of being described in adverts for intimate apparel as 'feeling good all under'.

And I do apologize for my prior comments. For some reason spreadsheets and technical data always have this effect on me - invariably I get punchy and... well.

"This will go down on your permanent record, mr. rdr." ???

spd rdr said...

That'll go down on your premanent record, Ms. Cassandra. But you girls feel free to discuss anything you want. Here at Heigh-ho we have an adult perspective on life...as in there's only so much more of it, so why sweat the small stuff. Plus I feeling positively squishy this morning.

portia said...

Um, thanks for the heads up...I think.

Hear that Cass, we got us some carte blanche! Yee haw.

Jehane said...

Portia, there will be none of that talk, or I'll never finish this (*&^ report.

Another round of squishiness for the house, bartender.

On me.

portia said...

Whatever do you mean Cass? I think I showed remarkable restraint. With one stroke, I could have inserted an apostrophe to the interjection "heads up" to form a singular possessive *ahem* noun but I didn't--I held back--even though I did think about it...twice...several times.

Still am:) Seems this squishy stuff is catching.

Jehane said...

My my my... don't hold back on my account. I would hate to be the cause of repressed squishiness... there's far too much of that going around these days. And yes, it is...

Catching, I mean.

I comfort myself with the thought that Heinlein was right. Because the alternative does not bear thinking about.

Cheers :)

portia said...

Heinlein was right....
"Anything worth doing is worth overdoing?"

That works for me:)

Jehane said...

I'll probably have to email you this one, Madam, if you promise not to rat me out.

It's too embarrassing :) But yours works almost as well.

Here's to overdoing.

portia said...

Here's to overdoing

Save talk of the Commerce Clause. After this week, I bet even Mr. Rdr will agree.