Thursday, August 11, 2005

Uncivil Servant

What with Florida almost consistantly dominating the dumbass-in-the-news segment at Heigh-ho, California must have been feeling neglected. How else to explain this award-winning defense in response to being charged with molesting 14 teenage girls?
A former Department of Motor Vehicles driving instructor who said he was driven to grope his female teen students because of a phobia of being in a car he wasn’t driving himself was sentenced to two years in jail today....“He said the stress of the job brought out the evil in him,” Wagstaffe said.
Of course! I've been in the same position! Why just a few weeks ago I was sitting in the passenger seat of my boss's Lexus while he drove at high speed through a savage downpour all the while talking on his cellphone. I don't have to tell you what was running through my mind.

Yep. Hot sex.

I was thinking of his pink blubbery bod sitting just inches away from me, and the urge to reach out and fondle his man-boobs was nearly overwhelming. It was hell, I'll tell ya. The only thing that kept me from doing something I probably would have regretted later was the overwhelming fear of impending death. It's a buzz-killer for sure.

From now on, I'm driving the damned car. It's safer that way.

9 comments:

Cassandra said...

My only experience working in a law office was in California.

The law is completely values-free there. Family law is especially atrocious.

So... did you score, spd? Tell me you at least got to second base.

*running away*

portia said...

Yeah spd, you can tell us. No need to be overwhelmed with these desires. Heck, we support Judge Roberts who may or may not be gay so we'd certainly extend the same open-mindedness to you after a grope or three.

I think either a dusty rose or something from the lavender family-- maybe a soft mauve color--would look fabulous for Heigh-Ho's new background color. Maybe a more flowery font too. Whaddya think Cass?

spd rdr said...

*ticking time bomb*

Cassandra said...

I *told* you he was a tease Portia.

I tell you, I simply haven't gotten an ounce of work done all day, wondering... daydreaming... [pant] fantasizing about spd's amorous adventures in that steamy Lexus.

Yessir... the thought of all that lawyer-on-lawyer action just about destroyed this girl's concentration :)

Cassandra said...

...although you can leave out the part about the man-boobs.

I don't think this ole' heart can take it.

spd rdr said...

ARRRRGHHHHH!

Cassandra said...

Well, if it's all *that* important to you, you can leave that part in spd...

...after all:

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, my amorous friend,
and may there be many more of the same.

Hopefully not in your boss's Lexus :)

Cassandra said...

................................
............................



Say what you will, that was truly a masterful lead-in. I didn't know if I'd have the patience to wait for it...

Heh.

Cassandra said...

But you're *worth* the effort, you know :)

*running away*