Sunday, August 28, 2005

Catagory 5 Moron

Here's the headline:

Hurricane Katrina Now a Dangerous Category 5 Storm as It Heads Toward New Orleans Area

Here's the warning:
MAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS ARE NEAR 160 MPH...WITH HIGHER GUSTS.
KATRINA IS A POTENTIALLY CATASTROPHIC CATEGORY FIVE HURRICANE ON
THE SAFFIR-SIMPSON SCALE. SOME FLUCTUATIONS IN STRENGTH ARE LIKELY
DURING THE NEXT 24 HOURS.

HURRICANE FORCE WINDS EXTEND OUTWARD UP TO 85 MILES FROM THE
CENTER...AND TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS EXTEND OUTWARD UP
TO 185 MILES.

DATA FROM AN AIR FORCE HURRICANE HUNTER PLANE INDICATE THAT THE
MINIMUM CENTRAL PRESSURE HAS FALLEN TO NEAR 908 MB...26.81 INCHES.

COASTAL STORM SURGE FLOODING OF 15 TO 20 FEET ABOVE NORMAL TIDE
LEVELS...LOCALLY AS HIGH AS 25 FEET ALONG WITH LARGE AND DANGEROUS
BATTERING WAVES...CAN BE EXPECTED NEAR AND TO THE EAST OF WHERE THE
CENTER MAKES LANDFALL.

RAINFALL TOTALS OF 5 TO 10 INCHES...WITH ISOLATED MAXIMUM AMOUNTS OF
15 INCHES...ARE POSSIBLE ALONG THE PATH OF KATRINA ACROSS THE GULF
COAST AND THE SOUTHEASTERN UNITED STATES.

ISOLATED TORNADOES WILL BE POSSIBLE BEGINNING SUNDAY EVENING OVER
SOUTHERN PORTIONS OF LOUISIANA...MISSISSIPPI...AND ALABAMA...AND
OVER THE FLORIDA PANHANDLE.

Here's the moron:
"The only dangerous hurricanes so far are the ones we've been drinking," said Fred Wilson of San Francisco, as he sipped one of the famous drinks at Pat O'Brien's Bar. "We can't get out, so we might as well have fun."


Well, Fred, you are in for a surprise. I knowthat San Francisco isn't hurricane alley and all, but somewhere you just had to have learned that 160 mile an hour winds and 25 foot storm surges are dangerous, especially when you're below sea level. But I'm surethat you will find the experiece exciting.
What's really fun, Fred, is the days following a storm of this magnitude- no power, no water, no food, and no sewage, except that floating past you as you attempt to avoid the balls of cottonmouth snakes and fire ants rafting down the streets of the Queen Cityas you search for shelter. Hey, remember those pictures after the tsunami? Yeah, like that.

But enjoy your cocktail in the meantime, Fred. We'll be watching for you on TV.

5 comments:

portia said...

My God, the eye of this monster is 35 miles wide!
Everything OK in 'bama?

spd rdr said...

I hope so. I'm sure glad rdrette #2 decided not to attend Tulane this year.

KJ said...

You're doing some good work here spd. The storm veered a little to the right, so I think he might not die though.

KJ said...

On second thought....

spd rdr said...

Christ, I hope that guy lived through it.