Saturday, July 09, 2005

Flying Sheep

This bizarre story:

First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported.

In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned, Aksam reported.

Got me thinking about this: bizarre story:



City Gent: Oh, jolly good too. (surveys field; he looks puzzled) I say, those are sheep aren't they?

Rustic: Ar.

City Gent: Yes, yes of course, I thought so...only...er why are they up in the trees?

Rustic: A fair question and one that in recent weeks has been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nesting.

City Gent: Nesting?

Rustic: Ar.

City Gent: Like birds?

Rustic: Ar. Exactly. Birds is the key to the whole problem. It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their behavior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. (off-screen baa-ing) Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet. (sound of sheep plummeting) Observe for example that ewe in that oak tree. She is clearly trying to teach her lamb to fly. (baaaaaa...thump) Talk about the blind leading the blind.

City Gent: But why do they think they're birds?

Rustic: Another fair question. One thing is for sure; a sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'. (crash) As you see. As for flight, its body is totally unadapted to the problems of aviation. Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their heads, there's no shifting it.

City Gent: But where did they get the idea from?

Rustic: From Harold. He's that sheep there over under the elm. He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. He's the ring-leader. He has realized that a sheep's life consists of standing around for a few months and then being eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He's patently hit on the idea of escape.

City Gent: Well why don't you just get rid of Harold?

Rustic: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities should he succeed.

5 comments:

Pile On® said...

Excellent!

I saw this story and have been trying to figure out how to use it. Now I can stop trying.

spd rdr said...

Baaaaaaaaa...

Jehane said...

You ghoul.

As if we needed more proof that capitalism is just one more way in which the White Man twists and perverts the innate wisdom of the natural world... :)

Pooke said...

They must have been liberal Democrats.

Jehane said...

I was going to go for the cross-blog snark and bring up MoxieGrrrrl and the BushSheep, but it was too early in the morning and I figured no one would get it...